The long Glastonbury post
I’ve been to a few festivals in my time. From the small-scale such as Wakestock up to the large-scale such as Reading they’re all pretty much the same. You have a campsite or two where people can try to sleep, a few places for bands to play music and you have a few eating establishments where people can obtain vague nutrition and contract diseases. As you scale up, all you get is more of the same. But not with Glastonbury. It’s a very different kettle of fish, and I shall attempt to explain why.
I must confess I was dubious. I’ve been hearing for years that ‘Glastonbury is SO much better than other festivals’ and I couldn’t see it. OK, you have more people and it has been going for longer but, really, what more is there to a festival than eating, sleeping and music? In actual fact, the answer is ‘everything’ and I think the main point is that not only does Glastonbury do everything other festivals do, and more besides, it does them better.
So we’ll start with the music because, broadly speaking, that’s the main focus. Glastonbury this year had 45 stages. Yes, 45 stages. Not 4-5 like most other places but forty-actual-five. These range from a bandstand in the middle of a field, through small-ish bar tents where music isn’t necessarily the main focus right up to the Pyramid Stage where close to 100,000 people can enjoy the biggest acts. There’s even a tent with a piano and a drum kit where anyone who wants to can come along with a guitar, a tambourine or just a voice and try their hand at performing. I spent a happy afternoon there on Thursday and it was pretty amazing.
For me, the ‘real music’ started on Friday at 11am when Rolf Harris kicked everything off on the Pyramid Stage. It was a perfect way to start ‘cos, love him or hate him, he knows how to entertain and everyone knows the words. A field full of people singing along to ‘Two Little Boys’ is a sight to behold. From there I headed off to see Kele put in an amazing performance on the John Peel stage. Later I enjoyed Mumford and Sons totally ripping it up with their exciting folk-rock before heading back to the tent to get ready for Gorillaz. Whilst there I sort of enjoyed Dizzee Rascall on the Pyramid - not my cup of tea but you have to admit he’s entertaining and he knows how to put on a good show. Sadly the same can’t be said of Gorillaz who were late replacements for U2 to headline the Pyramid. Musically I’m sure it was all very fine and dandy but they totally failed to connect with the audience in any way, they had a string of bizarre guests who left the audience scratching their heads - Lou Reed and Mark E. Smith to name but two - and after the buoyant excitement of Mr Rascall the whole thing was decidedly tedious. It’s an impressive thing to be able to empty the Pyramid Stage field before you’ve finished and, by the end of it, there were fewer people than there had been for Rolf at 11am. I never thought I’d say this but at that moment in time I’d have paid extra for Bono to appear and say it had all been a big wind-up. I’m told by people who were sensible enough to avoid it that The Flaming Lips were absolutely amazing on the Other Stage. Honestly, it’s hard to see how they couldn’t be, comparatively.
Onwards to Saturday then and as I can’t actually stand Tinchy Stryder (I heard some of it from the tent) I waited until the Lightning Seeds were due on to venture to the Pyramid. Ian Broudie was in fine form and pulled hit after hit out of the bag, throwing in one ‘dreaded new song’ which, frankly, was pretty good. He closed, as I’d been hoping, with Three Lions which made me cry as always - ‘I know that was then, but it could be again’ is one of the most succinct summations of national hope ever written as lyrics - and left me feeling awesome. From there I went a-wandering for a while before heading back to catch the awesome Seasick Steve put in a sterling performance on the Pyramid. It was then time to head back to the tent for a while to enjoy Shakira. Again she’s not my cup of tea but she sounded fine from where I was sat. Once she left it was time to head to the Pyramid for the Scissor Sisters and Muse which I suspected would be the best double-header I would see all weekend. I wasn’t wrong. Rumours abounded that Kylie would be appearing with the Scissor Sisters and those ended up being true. They put in a typically high-energy performance which got the crowd really in the mood. They just kept the hits coming and when Kylie came on towards the end the crowd went absolutely mental. They were a hard act to follow and, in such a situation, you probably need a band who are consistently awarded ‘best live act’ awards whenever they play. Thankfully we did indeed have Muse. Now as you may know, Muse are one of my favourite bands ever to have existed so I may be biased here but I know I’m not the only person who thought they were absolutely amazing. Again, there had been rumours that they’d be bringing U2’s The Edge on as a guest guitarist. The set started high with Uprising and just kept climbing right up to Stockholm Syndrome…possibly the best pre-encore set-closer in the world. The encore came and with it The Edge who announced his presence simply by playing the unmistakable opening riff of Where The Streets Have No Name which got the crowd screaming like never before. From there we went to Plug In Baby and finished with Knights of Cydonia which never fails to get the crowd jumping around like lunatics. You can try to resist if you like but you will fail. So yeah. Not quite the highlight of the week for me, because I’ve seen them so many times before, but it was a highlight for many people that I spoke to after.
Sunday didn’t involve much music. The only artist I really wanted to see before the evening, guitar legend Slash - a man who can produce more emotion with a single note than most guitarists can in an entire set - clashed with the football. We won’t mention that, other than to praise Glastonbury for allowing us to watch it in either of two HUGE fields with big screens. The facilities were amazing, considering their ad hoc nature, it was just unfortunate the quality of the football was so lacking. With that out of the way I wandered around once more until getting back to the ten in time to hear Jack Johnson’s brand of relaxing chilled-out music. It was a pleasant way to pass the time in readiness for what was to come. Faithless was another group I also enjoyed whilst sitting at the tent. It wouldn’t be my first choice of bands to go and see but they were entertaining. That set the stage for Stevie Wonder. Now, if you’ve never listened to ‘Songs in The Key of Life’ go and do so as soon as you finish this. It is, without doubt, one of the best albums ever written, performed and produced. Stevie Wonder is, in my eyes, almost unparalleled in legendary status. That said the sight that awaited me as I ambled over to the Pyramid Stage was quite unbelievable. Put simply, it was full. As far as the eye can see there were people ready to be entertained by a man who has spent most of the past 45 years doing just that. Many Glastonbury veterans commented that they’ve never seen it so full. And those people weren’t to be disappointed. He sang an array of songs from his vast back catalogue ending, inevitably, by inviting Michael Eavis on stage to sing Happy Birthday in honour of Glastonbury’s 40th birthday. It was the perfect end to a perfect festival.
And now, the other stuff. As I’ve said before, Glastonbury is about so much more than just the music. Beyond the 45 stages there are fields dedicated to everything you can imagine - the Healing Garden where you can go and chill-out and get a relaxing massage, the Green Fields dedicated to sustainable living, The Park, with the Ribbon Tower viewing platform, the stone circle where you can pretend you’re a druid or, if none of that takes your fancy, you can just rise above it all and climb the hill to get an overview of just how massive the site is.
The food, of course, is something else to behold. As well as the usual burger vans, baked potatoes, noodles and all day breakfasts there are some gems to be discovered. Anything you can think of, you can find. You want Lebanese Cuisine? There’s a van for that. Pies? There’s a van for that. In fact, I can’t think of anything that I didn’t see at least one van, and often many vans, for. Some of it’s the usual overpriced, under-nourished stuff but you can, if you wish, find delicious, nutritious food for not very much money. The main highlight for me was the food in the Permaculture area. An oasis of shade, where shade is at a premium, the Permaculture garden is dedicated to showing how with a minimum of effort we could all be eating home-grown and delicious food. In the middle there’s a large van cooking up locally produced vegetables in a variety of ways. For a fiver you get a massive plate full of concoctions which, frankly, are out of this world. It’s cheap, it’s filling and it’s delicious…and they change the menu every day so you can eat there several times without getting bored. Next to that is a tent with a huge frying pan cooking comfrey pakoras - the only food grown, cooked and eaten on site. Sadly I didn’t get a chance to sample them but those that did tell me they were delicious. My other food highlight was a Welsh Oggie - basically a large cornish pastie but somehow much tastier.
Beyond that, there were a couple of ‘installations’ which were new this year - Block 9 and Shangri-La. They can be described as ‘what might happen if you give a bunch of art students a million pounds and ask them to come up with a dystopian view of a bleak future’. When I went it was VERY busy (to the extent that they had to close them down to stop more people entering) and, as such, I didn’t really get the full effect of it. It’s hard to take in a dystopian head-fuck when you’re more concerned about being crushed to death. And there are many other things that I didn’t get a chance to see. Oh well…I guess I’ll just have to go back!
And that’s that really. Something for everyone and an utterly inconceivable experience which simply has to be seen to be believed. It’s not quite perfect, of course. There are well-documented problems getting that quantity of people on and off site - but that’s fine, because you just budget 8 hours travel time in each direction and make sure you have some water. Also, the hour of trekking to and from the car, laden with the kind of load a camel might refuse, isn’t pleasant - but it’s ultimately worth it. I’m sure some people would hate it - camping and festivals aren’t for everyone - but those people have the option to enjoy the highlights on TV before heading to a comfortable bed that’s not freezing cold during the night and then roasting hot once the sun comes out. But if you think it sounds like it might be your sort of thing then I urge you to give it a go. You can’t be disappointed.
After all that it should be obvious that it’s impossible for any one person to write a comprehensive review of Glastonbury. Everyone will have a different experience because there’s so much going on. But this isn’t A review of Glasto, it’s MY review of Glasto. Thanks for reading it :)
